A polaroid of wish
It's been exactly seven days since I last saw him in the crooked roads, his unkept beige hair running wild in the winds, those lost eyes as if searching for forever, the cheek I touched every now and then, the lips I kissed a thousand times over, and the smile.
The smile which made my day, my night, that smile which was my sun my centre of the universe, my weakness, my love.
I remember every small detail about him, his habits - how he clicked random pictures without any meaning or story and how he used to keep my photograph in his purse, how he used to call me by the nickname only he was allowed to use, how he used to squish my cheeks with his rough but caring hands, how he used to look at me as if there's no tomorrow, as if today is the last that we are meeting, and me, seeing his face for the last time. Who'd known that one day all these metaphors would take the fate in their favour and turn out to be bitter but true ? Certainly, neither of us, but that's when our destinies smiled, as if wanting to look at each other for one last time.
It was perfect, as good as it gets, a fairy tale relationship, but with a satirical ending. I never wanted to leave but I had to, I had no other choice. I was just another victim of circumstances, which turned out to be so heavy to call it an end, but I still wanted to touch his lips and caresses his cheeks for one last time. Let him go with a proper goodbye, but no. That was too much to wish for I guess. I am a firm believer of destiny. I read somewhere, true love finds a way, maybe it'd take a bit longer in our case, but slowly the hope and my soul kept on dying.
The wilderness of this unknown place, the hail, the sun, the fierce wind reminded me of him every moment tearing me apart cell by cell. I was lost somewhere between some stories he'd never read again. Trapped between yellow pages of gloom. It feels like days passed, months, and years, too, but he never came back, not even to say a goodbye.
But today I felt a tremble in my heart, suddenly after such a long time. Felt like someone just blew a whisper about my face, as if someone called me by my name, a familiar voice, a familiar scent. Searching for me in the crowd of a million other stories, stories of people, poems of love and loss; searching for me restlessly. I think he doesn't remember that am hidden in his journal under the dictionaries which defines words like love and forever in terms so easy but unfair, but I was wrong. He remembers where I was very well, in some forgotten sands. I remember very well our last day together, how happy we were in that trip of a lifetime, I last saw him in the crooked roads, his unkept beige hairs running wild in the winds, the last look in his face, a brewed mixture of fear and anxiety when the roads met nowhere but just one place, peace.
The last feeling of weightlessness, how hard he tried to pull us from the remains, but I was a firm believer of destiny, it was my call to call it an end. I left his hand, so that he could just save himself and not us.
He finally finds me today, torn into pieces, bloodstained and shattered. I never saw him cry that hard, but it was our fate. It was never forever for us in this mortal world; I'm waiting for him to complete me.
I wish I was just a photograph, without a story.
I wish,
I wish ...
The smile which made my day, my night, that smile which was my sun my centre of the universe, my weakness, my love.
I remember every small detail about him, his habits - how he clicked random pictures without any meaning or story and how he used to keep my photograph in his purse, how he used to call me by the nickname only he was allowed to use, how he used to squish my cheeks with his rough but caring hands, how he used to look at me as if there's no tomorrow, as if today is the last that we are meeting, and me, seeing his face for the last time. Who'd known that one day all these metaphors would take the fate in their favour and turn out to be bitter but true ? Certainly, neither of us, but that's when our destinies smiled, as if wanting to look at each other for one last time.
It was perfect, as good as it gets, a fairy tale relationship, but with a satirical ending. I never wanted to leave but I had to, I had no other choice. I was just another victim of circumstances, which turned out to be so heavy to call it an end, but I still wanted to touch his lips and caresses his cheeks for one last time. Let him go with a proper goodbye, but no. That was too much to wish for I guess. I am a firm believer of destiny. I read somewhere, true love finds a way, maybe it'd take a bit longer in our case, but slowly the hope and my soul kept on dying.
The wilderness of this unknown place, the hail, the sun, the fierce wind reminded me of him every moment tearing me apart cell by cell. I was lost somewhere between some stories he'd never read again. Trapped between yellow pages of gloom. It feels like days passed, months, and years, too, but he never came back, not even to say a goodbye.
But today I felt a tremble in my heart, suddenly after such a long time. Felt like someone just blew a whisper about my face, as if someone called me by my name, a familiar voice, a familiar scent. Searching for me in the crowd of a million other stories, stories of people, poems of love and loss; searching for me restlessly. I think he doesn't remember that am hidden in his journal under the dictionaries which defines words like love and forever in terms so easy but unfair, but I was wrong. He remembers where I was very well, in some forgotten sands. I remember very well our last day together, how happy we were in that trip of a lifetime, I last saw him in the crooked roads, his unkept beige hairs running wild in the winds, the last look in his face, a brewed mixture of fear and anxiety when the roads met nowhere but just one place, peace.
The last feeling of weightlessness, how hard he tried to pull us from the remains, but I was a firm believer of destiny, it was my call to call it an end. I left his hand, so that he could just save himself and not us.
He finally finds me today, torn into pieces, bloodstained and shattered. I never saw him cry that hard, but it was our fate. It was never forever for us in this mortal world; I'm waiting for him to complete me.
I wish I was just a photograph, without a story.
I wish,
I wish ...
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