You ? Dangerously beautiful.

// Some stories are better left, unsaid.
Some people, unloved. //

When you'll be reading this, I'll be probably trying my best to murder my feelings.
The world is filled with two kinds of people, dangerous and beautiful - this was my point of view till I met you.
Beautiful, because what you are.

I know the fact that a broken heart seeks love, and mine is like a jar of sand, somehow kept inside that thin mortal glass. Maybe, am the most unloved soul you'll ever find, maybe there's someone worse but that's not the point, am a broken piece of shit, That is.

Am just another broken dream, out of a million beats, out of a billion faces, am just another book which wants to be reread, to be pampered, to be cured. The last reader tore a lot of pages, keeping the roots attached,  scratched my skin, etched her name deep inside me. Then replaced me when she finished her favourite chapters, but never turned the unread.

I don't know why am writing, maybe because writing makes me feel better, makes me forget the reality.
The harsh, where am all alone. I love this little world of mine, where am happy. Maybe because I think you'll understand how I feel while you'll be reading this, maybe not.

Destiny.
I am starting to believe in the fact, we met at the wrong time. Maybe right enough for me or for you, but definitely not for both of us.
Maybe, I'll have to trust my destiny to see it's plans. I'll just have to hope, a bit longer and strong. I still have some unanswered, I'll do it myself.
You trust in fate right ?
Ever thought, why we crossed paths at this point of time, this beautiful moment ? Why are we ever talking, even if I don't make any sense and you don't make an effort ? No.
Even if, you understand very well about my desperation and sharp will I can't help it.
I don't know why, I just don't.
Now am in a state of mind, where I fear getting attached to people, no matter how beautiful they're.
I want a friend, I want someone who understands but I don't want to be that vulnerable sad kid again. I want to get attached to you but this time without lies. I want to live without bounds.
I want to love, again.

Damaged.
I hope you do realise that fact, how badly can a person damage another. I am, one of them.
Just like the bird which flew into the cage and now grew so much in size, it's suffocating him. It's requires a miracle now to get back to fly and soar again, that's why I want you.

Dive in.
I just wanted to to give it a try, because a perfect girl like you has nothing to loose, and I have myself to gain back.
Call me, selfish but I just want you to heal me.
I feel lonely, depressed, trapped inside this mortal body and I just want to breathe a bit free.
I want to sing on the top of my voice in the middle of a dreamy night, in the midst of the chaos I want you to be my solitude.
I want you to hold my hand, to hear me sob.
I want you.
I want you to look into my eye.
I want to give it a try, letting my heart break again. I can have my dreams shattered again but I just want to give it a shot, because you're worth it.
I know, am no way near what you expect, but how'd you know, if you we don't even jump off ?
You're engraved inside my mind, and I can't get you out.
I want you to rupture my little love for you, so that I can atleast live with your honest rejection, and not die everyday with the feeling of uncertainty.
I know, it's too early to say all this, but I realised how I saw my death in your eyes.
I am letting my emotions flow, with a curtain of lie that it's not possible between us, just to ensure I sleep tonight, not like yesterday waiting for your reply.

Hope you understand why I called you dangerous, because you made me love you with whatever's left of me.

 ~ Rupam

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Married. Chapter 6. " Shalini, I have so much to tell ! "

Image
The next four years weren't much happening for Dhruv. He always wanted to be literature laureate, but he had to go for engineering because his relatives said, " onek scope ache ". He resisted at first, tried to avoid his relatives and family friends, and even the customers in their shop and somehow managed to succeed 0.5%, but then his revolt was demolished when his mother fainted, when he said that he doesn't want to be an engineer. How supernatural it is ? She was completely normal the entire day, but when her son said, he wanted to go for B.A. his mother fainted.  " Et tu mother ! " He mumbled, when his last day of hope was murdered too. He went to Jadavpur, somehow completed his Bachelor's in Engg. Life wasn't the same as it was before, his routine was damaged he made some new friends, life was going on. He applied for the entrance and qualified for the MBA, which was his plan B. He called up Shalini, his childhood best friend to meet and s
Read more

" Happy Children's Day "

Image
My brother and I have a sweet and sour relationship like all brothers do. We usually don't fight that much, but whenever we do we make sure it's for that last piece of cookie. I think WWIII would be fought because these companies pack an odd number of cookies in each packet. I'm two years older than my brother and I have absolutely no shame admitting that I just can't give away my share that easy. Last night my father returned from Kolkata and brought some confectioneries he got during his last meeting. My brother was asleep then and I had seen where my mother hid the packet of our favourite cookies. She does that all the time because snacks don't last long in our house. I woke up this morning and my mother told she had some work to do so she had already cooked the lunch and gave me some of the most definitely difficult tasks ever. I noted them down one by one as I knew I would forget most of them if I didn't. To Do. • Take the milk, boil it. • Give dirty
Read more

Married. Chapter 4. " Tu ruk abh "

Image
Adaria was a rich army brat, born and brought up in Mumbai. She studied in an Army School, as her father was a General in the Indian army. Her native place was somewhere in Rajasthan. Her mother was a famous Rajasthani folk singer whom Gen. Vikrant Solanki fell in love with during his Rajasthan border posting. She was their only child. There are numerous incidents when, the people noticed an Army Man, standing near her mother's house, waiting for hours for her to come near the balcony. Let's leave that story for another day.   Adaria was a proud girl, typical Army Officer's daughter with a royal charm of her own. Strong, rebellious and dangerously outspoken, these were her characteristics.  She was an extremely skilled athlete, ran the Mumbai marathon twice, bunking school of course, because her mother didn't want her to take part in it, but sixteen year old Adaria bribed her father with two more worksheets and somehow managed to take part and secure a respectable
Read more